Don't Dwell on the Numbers.. Focus on the Change!

As the whimical chime blares from my phone urging me to get my butt out of bed, I feel a sense of unwillingness to do so.  Reluctinly I roll out of the heated blanket, and stumble my way into the bathroom.. it's sooo early.. I don't want to be responsible today.. I don't want to do what it takes to get myself presentable to go to work.  But I do.  Because I have to, because I need to do what it takes to take care of my family. 

This got me thinking... all my adult life I have always had a job.. and I have always been held favorable within my different jobs... why? .. because I am responsible I do what it takes to get the job not only done but done well and with a good attitude. Why? Because I am willing to do what it takes to ensure the well being of my family.. so why is it so easy for me to sacrifice, and work hard when it comes to employment but when it comes to doing what I HAVE to to take care of my body it's sooo hard!  Just like my financial well being is important to my family my pysical well being should be just as important.. I don't want to find myself struggling with health issues, because I am the one that was not responsible enough to do what it takes to make myself healthy and strong for my family, that is not fair to them.

As I finished putting myself together, and slipped on my jeans, I noticed that they felt a little loose.. not a lot but a little.. not enough that anyone else would notice but enough that I did.  I could feel my soul smile just a little.  I know it has only been a week, but it's been a good week, I felt a little stronger, a little more like I can do this.  Sluggishly I made my way out into the freezing tundra and drove to work.. I turned my music up loud because I just really didn't want to think about anything more this morning.. and then I arrived at my destination and began to settle in for the next 12 hours, I grabbed my phone to go into my fitness pal app and finish logging in my food for the previous day and was within my caloric limit yay.. but when it told me if you keep this rate you will be such and such weight in 5 weeks.. which was about 20 lbs. down from where I am now but when I saw that number.. a crushing feeling of overwhelmingness overcame my being.. in 5 weeks IF I can stay in check I will still be soooo far away from where I want to be, I was almost in tears!! So interesting how we as humans can experience such a range of emotions in such a short amount of time.. I had to step back.. take a deep breath.. get myself back in focus... and not DWELL on the numbers, but FOCUS on the change! This is one really big reason that I will ususally not weigh myself when I am trying to lose weight.. I myself dwell too much on the number thing, and when I am working so hard and feeling good, and then step on that scale and it mocks at me, it is not a good thing.  I know that for most people the scale helps them stay in check but for me, not so much!

So.. I put my big girl panties on and rededicatied myself to this journey.  I will go about this with the same attitude I do for work.. I will not only complete this task but I will do it well and with a good attitude.  I will do it not just for my family but I will do it for me.