Saturday, January 5, 2013

Damn the human in me...

Imagine sitting at your desk 10 hours into your shift 2 hours to go.. you have been so good all day, but it's afternoon and your mind is telling you, I need a treat, you politely say no, you are just fine.. again you hear I need a treat.. you try to drink some water with a little crystal light to satify your urge .. it helps somewhat, but there is still that sense of unsatisfaction... okay fine I will try an orange.. it tastes good, but it's not chocolate.. And then from across the hall a cute skinny little lady with a big smile on her face brings in a big pink box and joyfully exclaims that she brought you some CHOCOLATE CAKE!!! UGH!!! For reals?!?! .. At first I am strong, I don't even open the box, I try to put it out of my mind... I am feeling pretty confident.. I mean if I could resist the peanutbutter bars in the cafeteria at lunch surely I could withstand the temptation for this.. And then a friend pops in the office to say hello and out of curiosity starts lifting the lid to that invitingly pink cardboard box, oh no, the rich sweet smell of chocolate frosting in flooding my senses, my eyes caught a glimpse of that dark, rich, moist, perfectly textured TEXAS SHEET CAKE.. my favorite!! NO! It was just too much.. the human in me took over and I indulged, I ate a half of a peice of cake.. it was divine.. and after I ate that half of a peice I wanted more.. I could have had more.. BUT I didn't!!
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On my way home I mentally beat myself up.. I kept asking myself WHY? Why would I do that when I have tried so hard all day to be good.  But then I had to stop and give myself a little credit, had that cake been sitting there 2 weeks ago, I wouldn't have hesitated in the least and I guarentee that I would have indulged in at least 2 peices.. realizing that I was able to limit myself and have some control was rewarding.. and it feels as though everytime I am able to establish some control I gain more power to be able to get to where I want to be.  That being said I did an extra 10 min. on my eliptical to make up for that little peice of heaven that made its way into my mouth.. and I am over it.. and ready to keep moving forward... 

1 comment:

  1. You did good Mandy! Little changes and that is what you did. We can't go through life never having anything it's about learning to portion size and moderation and the best thing you did was extra exercise. It's all life and you are learning how to live it good job!

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